Dear Internet: Huh?

Recent search terms, because they amuse me:

how to talk paraguay languish I suspect that this means “how to talk paraguay language” which might be more usefully rewritten as “learn to speak Spanish” … or Guaraní. If you want to know how to talk to languishing Paraguayans, I probably can’t help you.


“brice courtenay” wikipedia I am always amazed at this sort of search, because why would you not just go to wikipedia and search for Bryce Courtenay there? Here’s his Wikipedia page, and his librarything entry. And here’s his homepage (warning: it plays music). Was that so difficult? It probably was: his first name was spelt wrong in your search.

books to read before ulysses If you’ve not read any Joyce before, start with Dubliners, a collection of short stories. And then, if you like, you can read A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man; it’s not strictly necessary to the understanding of Ulysses but does take place before it and might be useful as an illumination of Stephen Dedalus’s character. Or heck, just jump into Ulysses. No need to be scared.

THE fILLES DU rOI book ThIs booK wAs one of my CHildHOOd favOUritEs and coNtinues to BE SO. but WhY do you TYPE like ThiS?

Yellowknife ebook Right here. But Yellowknife is good enough to buy a hardcopy

how to pronounce frabjous Well, you pronounce “frab” like “frab”, and “jous” like “just” without the T. I know it’s made up, but it’s not that hard. Phonics, people, phonics!

dumb blonde guide to christianity Sorry, dude, but this book doesn’t exist. Tamara Leigh made it up for her book Faking Grace. But you could write it, if you really feel it ought to exist.

mystery novels that are fun to reread Most of them, if you are one of those people who can’t remember what happens in books you’ve not read for a while. But otherwise I would suggest anything by Dorothy L. Sayers. Her prose is so delicious that the mystery always seems sort of incidental to me. Also, try Elizabeth Peters’ Amelia Peabody series. Those books are so funny that, likewise, the actual mystery really isn’t the point.

how to get rich quick, kids book and how to get rich quick book for kids I don’t get it. Is there a children’s book about this? Bedtime stories for tiny capitalists? Or are you trying to get rich quick by writing a children’s book? Because listen, homefry, that’s probably not going to happen. Even Margaret Atwood got rich slowly.

4 thoughts on “Dear Internet: Huh?

  1. Agree with Dorothy L. Sayers. Similarly, Edgar Wallace, though he's harder to get hold of, a surprisingly modern style given he died in 1933. And fans of Columbo should read R.Austin Freeman, who popularised the “you know how it was done, how will it be exposed?” form.


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